is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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