the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
