I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
