we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
