Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
