Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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