He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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