we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
