Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
