The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
