I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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