after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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