i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
