She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
