I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I would fuck him just for his dog
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
