You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
