If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Randomize
