like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
