I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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