margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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