you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
