I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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