just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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