thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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