I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
