went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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