so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
