so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
