her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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