Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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