So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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