Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
