who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
