He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
There's always time for handjobs
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
