What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
