k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
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