This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
