The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I would ride that face into the sunset
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
