pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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