thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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