Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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