I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
