Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
