Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Actions speak louder than pants.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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