soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
