and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Randomize
