would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I could make wine with my vomit
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Randomize
