I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
the day after is always just damage control
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
