can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
