: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
