Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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